Solutions

Time to piss some more people off...

Short-Term

1. Shorten the work day to four hours.

2. Provide a public alternative to social media websites.

3. Legally abolish the practice of inheriting fortunes.

4. Shut down all credit card companies and imprison their stockholders.

5. Nationalize all corporations.

6. Legally abolish planned obsolescence.

7. Increase the number of teachers per classroom and decrease the number of students.

8. Eliminate the boss/partiality dichotomy in parenting and promote real friendship, trust, and honesty between parents and children.

9. Criminalize alcohol consumption and possession.

10. Abolish the death penalty.

11. Legalize assisted suicide.

12. Criminalize the production of meat.

13. Promote automation in the industrial and service sectors of the economy.

14. Criminalize all forms of gun possession.

15. Criminalize pregnancy.

16. Teach how to think in the classroom before presenting any individual item as a fact; discourage memorization and tradition.

17. Eliminate all legal age requirements for everything and encourage individual demonstrations of skill and responsibility.

18. Encourage corporate collusion using an "open source" method.

19. Encourage the free downloading of any kind of media.

20. Shut down frivolous businesses (jewelry chains, professional sports franchises, record companies) until we can confirm both that no businesses can utilize child labor for acquiring their raw materials and that there are no longer major threats to sentience warranting immediate attention and resources.

21. Legally abolish the lottery.

22. Criminalize all forms of gambling.

23. Reform public broadcasting in all realms of media such that there is greater public awareness of its presence; make critical thinking entertaining in an effort to gradually phase out the currently prevailing forms of entertainment in media.

24. Scorn those who promote indefinite growth -- whether of population, economic output, or irrelevant information about our personal lives.


Long-Term

1. Make everyone on Earth a member of the government.

2. Allow ideas to rule our lives, regardless of who their originators are.

3. Do away with Daylight Saving Time and time zones.

4. Eliminate all languages except one.

5. Institute peer review by unaffiliated parties in all empirical matters.

6. Replace corporate advertisements with individual advertisements of new ideas and innovations.

7. Abolish the monetary system and all methods of trading and bartering; eliminate private property and the general conception of ownership of anything, whether intellectual property, ideas, or material goods.

8. Eliminate the concepts of the school day and free time in favor of an augmented concept of nurture; allow only certified, temporary personnel within youth centers to raise children -- never their genetic parents; eliminate the distinction between life lessons and academic lessons in favor of a unified model for raising children under a singular mode with uniform methods.

9. Eliminate the dichotomy of socializing and the news media in favor of fully transparent, technologically facilitated communication.

10. Design architecture to accommodate moods in innovative ways; stray from modern, square-shaped designs wherever possible.

11. Engineer a highway system for goods and raw materials such that said materials arrive at a given location on demand at the press of a button, thus encouraging individual creativity as a replacement for corporate appropriation.

12. Penalize extended privacy.

13. Eliminate all forms of extrinsic motivation.

14. Instead of retroactively treating symptoms of problems one-on-one indefinitely, address each emergent problem at its source.

15. Painlessly terminate as many consenting conscious agents as possible while enrolling the rest into full-time simulations of reality aimed at reducing as much suffering as possible.

16. De-emphasize individuality and personal identity; make all efforts to improve Earth about moments, experiences, and sensations rather than persons, rights, etc.

17. Remove the presence of finite resources from society altogether; promote cyclic alternatives.

People are uninformed and lack direction

I once watched a film with a strong environmentalist slant to it which criticized overpopulation and, on some level, the individualistic capitalism required for there to be unregulated reproduction in the first place. I agreed with a lot of what was offered, but not all. However, I appreciated the effort.

I also once visited an Internet message board where someone who very poorly criticized the film was told to "stay the hell away" from the board if he didn't have anything constructive to add, critical or otherwise.

I find this highly ironic, since the best thing to offer the person who'd made the thread would have been education. Rather than shoo the person away for his belligerence, why not interview him? You may not change his mind, but it's equally unlikely that you'll change his mind about continuing to post on the board.

It's ironic because the film criticized social alienation, and what better way to alienate those who oppose our views than to tell them to shut up and leave? This kind of behavior is everywhere in our society; most people enjoy displaying their intellectual accomplishments, but very few are actually living by what they say. Pathetic.

Do you think you have much to contribute to society?

It bothers me that so few people look upon themselves with disappointment. Members of Bigfoot message boards will be more than happy to provide you with their "opinion" that Bigfoot absolutely MUST exist -- even if they have no idea what they're talking about, and have no credentials relevant to zoology, biology, etc.

Why are such people allowed to provide their opinions on these topics? There is no basis for them whatsoever. Is it okay to let people provide an opinion on some ontological matter just because they want to feel like they belong to something? What if we were to let anyone form an "opinion" on how to build a bridge?

If you were to eyeball the distance between yourself and the clouds above you, what would make your opinion somehow worth considering, given the existence of measuring instruments?

Be honest with yourself: Are you providing your two cents because you have genuine business in doing so, or do you just want everyone to know that you exist? Do you have something to contribute beyond the baseline at which most opinions rest, or do you just want to be recognized? Sometimes the right thing to do is to admit ignorance, even in spite of an interest in the topic at hand, and politely step aside.

Too few people are disappointed in their shortcomings. I am very, very disappointed in mine -- not because I feel as though I've "failed" in life, but because the universe has so perfectly limited me. My brain could calculate things so much faster, judge distances so much more accurately. Most people don't think about stuff like this, because they're after social gratification rather than truth. What a great world it would be if everyone were horrified by their limitations.

How to make intellectual progress 101

1. Leave fear of new ideas -- the cause of most knee-jerk reactions -- out of any formulation of premises and conclusions; do not foam at the mouth.

2. Express hope that the person whose ideas you're critiquing will come around to seeing things your way.

3. Express awareness of the possibility that you are in error, and that the person whose ideas you're critiquing may be able to provide you with a learning experience.

Failing to adhere to even one of these three will eventually lead to your species fighting wars with itself.

Class dismissed.

What does the average person care about?

So I felt like making a list of things the average person cares about. I think it's pretty all-encompassing, but I'm sure I've left some important things out. These are great examples of why we need to reform the human value system as soon as possible.

Note: None of these applies to me -- at least, not intentionally; I like to think that they're a quick composite of the current state of society, and not targeting any group or person in particular.


I hope he doesn't know that I'm a virgin.

I better get a free sandwich because of this. This thing has no toppings!

What do you expect? He's a liberal.

What do you expect? He's a conservative.

Why didn't he thank me? That deserved a thank you.

No, I was the one who fixed it. Why don't you go ask so and so? He'll back me up. It was me, not the other guy! It was ME! 

No, I was the one who helped you, remember? What has he ever done for you? Forget about him. I do things out of the kindness of my heart! 

Jesus, how much do you think that guy weighs? He looks ridiculous.

Wow, look at that guy. I bet he has no friends.

Who did the dishes last? It isn't MY turn. It's HIS turn.

Did you hear about whatshername? Yeah, she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday!

Yeah? Well, at least I have a life!

What are you doing using that? That's MINE!

Public opinion is turning against my favorite pop star! Ugh, what can she do to be on top again?

You really think your favorite pop star is better than mine? Please! My favorite is WAY more real, and even writes her own songs. 

Hey, I'm your FAN. No one cares more about what you do than the fans. We DESERVE something new NOW. Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting?

I know that he's controlling and a jerk to other people, but I can't help how I feel about him.

If I could just manage to talk to women and get a girlfriend, I wouldn't need anything else in life.

God, I'm so socially inept and ugly. I'm a total loser.

Our sports team won last night! We're the best!

I can't eat that. I'll get fat if I eat stuff like that.

I want a smaller nose. My life is pretty good, but if I could save up the money to get my nose fixed, I wouldn't have any worries.

That celebrity wears way too much makeup. I would NEVER look like that.

You don't have a Facebook? I didn't even know that that was POSSIBLE in this day and age.

Is this fifty percent off? Better get two, even though I don't even need one.

At least I don't drive an SUV. How much of the ozone layer do you think that guy is destroying with that thing?

My friend laughed at me yesterday for being awkward in front of his other friend. I feel really bad now, because I want him to like me.

I got a B on the final. Ugh, my GPA is going to suffer because of this.

Ew, you smoke? You ARE aware that that's going to kill you and make you stink, right?

Go a few more blocks and waste some more gas to get to the other gas station; gas is five cents cheaper there than it is here.

Did you just spill that all over MY rug?

You need to get out of the house more. This isn't good for your MENTAL HEALTH.

Only poor, fat people eat at this fast food chain. That one documentary told me that fast food's bad for your health, and it doesn't cost much, so I put two and two together.

Jeez, are you still not getting this? Sorry, but you are obviously wrong about your philosophical stance, here. Ever read a book by this guy? No? Didn't think so. Go read him; he'll change your life the way he changed mine. Maybe then, you'll understand things in as much depth as I do.

You're obviously a blahblahblah-ist. Ever considered blehblehbleh-ism? Because that's what I am.

Who are you to judge me? You know what? I don't care. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks about me.

Who are you to judge my favorite music artist? I'd like to see YOU make a hit album.

Hey, do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't break the golden rule or hurt anybody else.

Being sexy is important, but ONLY if you can do it without getting surgical enhancements. It's okay to spend tons of money on your appearance so long as it doesn't involve a knife.

Who are you to tell me that I can't have children? What if my future son turns out to be the next Einstein? You would have prevented the next EINSTEIN from coming into the world.

Wow, all you ever do is talk about the world's problems. How depressing! You need to either lighten up and have a little fun or kill yourself. You hate YOUR life, right? That's what you're saying, right?

Love can change the world. Love everyone unconditionally!

My life is meaningful because I am sexually liberated. Free your inner slut; you won't regret it!

Society would be so much better if we'd get rid of all of the corporations and show nature a little respect. Down with corruption! Up with sustainability!

You don't believe in aliens? Wow, talk about having a closed mind.

There are trillions of stars in the universe, so I KNOW for a FACT that aliens are out there.

We're supposed to live in a progressive society, but gays can't marry? Unbelievable.

I normally don't get so riled up about issues like this, but what can I say? This particular one is actually important to me, and is a big part of who I am.

You have a WHAT fetish? Man, you need to see a shrink.

I didn't know you liked THAT kind of music. It's not a big deal, I just never would have expected it from you, of all people.

HE didn't show up for work today? He's never a missed a day before. That's definitely not like him, the little goody goody!

He thinks that's a funny show? What, is he retarded or something? Then again, most people enjoy their low-brow humor...

I don't care if that's my responsibility. I deserve a BREAK right now, alright? Piss off.

He sleeps in until WHEN? Jesus, what a lazy guy.

Can you even spell? I'm not going to listen to anything you have to say if you type like that.

If I could only obtain the thing that I currently desire most, I wouldn't ever want anything else. I just need ONE MORE.

It's not cheating if it's online, right? I deserve affection.

I deserve respect.

I am entitled to anything I want, so long as it doesn't cause anyone physical pain. Well, maybe I deserve most of those things, too. I work hard!

I know that it wasn't my fault, but I still feel awful. Why did I do that? I regret it so much.

I can't stop thinking about that one particular event in my life that caused me and/or those around me some degree of discomfort. Screw the rest of the world; I HAVE to focus on this. It's a big deal!

I trust my senses, alright? You can keep on telling me what you THINK you heard me say, but I KNOW what I said. I'm not wrong. How could I be wrong about this?

What school do you go to? Oh...

Did you hear what happened on the news last night?

I know that what he did was wrong, but that doesn't give you any right to talk to him like that. He's a FAMILY member.

What happened to that country yesterday? Someone started bombing them? Yikes. Anyway, what else is on?